I came up with this relationship model during my Japan holiday... a rather simple one but it captures many elements of what I think my relationships are like. The levels of each point are irrelevant... they differ for each person. Say for example, the initial peak for one person maybe higher than the stabilization point, and vice versa for another person. What’s more important is the general shape and features of the curve itself -namely, the 3 features highlighted: the initial peak, the dip and the stabilization point (plateau).
When I first get to know someone, there is always an initial spike. The start point, the peak height and the amount of time it lasts vary from person to person, but it’s the initial excitement of getting to know someone new… the wow factor in someone different. That blink judgment... for some, accurate enough to be near the stabilization point... for others, far off the mark. That is the initial peak.
And then, once our eyes have adjusted to the light, we start to see the shadows. The flaws. The weaknesses. The things that make the superstar and the idol lose their glory and glamour; the things that make us human. We get disillusioned and realize that the rosy picture we see was simply because we weren’t near enough... now that we get a step closer, we see the smears, the smudges and the washovers. This is the dip.
Finally, the last phase begins – a slow climb towards a plateau. A climb that usually takes a relationship to new heights once we have learned to accept the faults in each other and see each other as special individuals with our own unique sets of strengths and weaknesses. Of course there are times when the plateau is actually lower than the initial peak...
It’s extremely difficult to reach this point I think. There is so much there has to be done to get past the dip and sometimes, we don’t even get past the initial peak. But if this point is reached, the portrait can finally be appreciated in its entirety; not just a fleeting surge of happiness or excitement, or underlying resentment and bitterness, but a stability that is derived from understanding and shared memories. Now that, I believe, should be the aim of a friendship.
If our character is a die and we only reveal certain faces of a die at a time, then I guess we could piece together a mosaic portrait of our loved ones in our lives as time passes. Then each portrait is a work of art and we are all art critics in the making… most of the times, we just haven’t learned enough about aesthetic judgment.
Aha! Now apply my thesis of objectivity of aesthetic judgment~ and out comes =) impartial judicial system. Totally~ I’m all set for law.
Wow the spinoffs from this are wild... implications, inspirations. Never thought that drafting this concept into words could have so much impact (on myself I mean)...
Name: Foo Guo Zhong Melvyn
Age: 19+
Affiliations: MSHS (Pri), Rosyth, RI, RJC, SFX (LoG)
Bday: 14th Nov
Email: mel_protoss@hotmail.com
I came up with this relationship model during my Japan holiday... a rather simple one but it captures many elements of what I think my relationships are like. The levels of each point are irrelevant... they differ for each person. Say for example, the initial peak for one person maybe higher than the stabilization point, and vice versa for another person. What’s more important is the general shape and features of the curve itself -namely, the 3 features highlighted: the initial peak, the dip and the stabilization point (plateau).
When I first get to know someone, there is always an initial spike. The start point, the peak height and the amount of time it lasts vary from person to person, but it’s the initial excitement of getting to know someone new… the wow factor in someone different. That blink judgment... for some, accurate enough to be near the stabilization point... for others, far off the mark. That is the initial peak.
And then, once our eyes have adjusted to the light, we start to see the shadows. The flaws. The weaknesses. The things that make the superstar and the idol lose their glory and glamour; the things that make us human. We get disillusioned and realize that the rosy picture we see was simply because we weren’t near enough... now that we get a step closer, we see the smears, the smudges and the washovers. This is the dip.
Finally, the last phase begins – a slow climb towards a plateau. A climb that usually takes a relationship to new heights once we have learned to accept the faults in each other and see each other as special individuals with our own unique sets of strengths and weaknesses. Of course there are times when the plateau is actually lower than the initial peak...
It’s extremely difficult to reach this point I think. There is so much there has to be done to get past the dip and sometimes, we don’t even get past the initial peak. But if this point is reached, the portrait can finally be appreciated in its entirety; not just a fleeting surge of happiness or excitement, or underlying resentment and bitterness, but a stability that is derived from understanding and shared memories. Now that, I believe, should be the aim of a friendship.
If our character is a die and we only reveal certain faces of a die at a time, then I guess we could piece together a mosaic portrait of our loved ones in our lives as time passes. Then each portrait is a work of art and we are all art critics in the making… most of the times, we just haven’t learned enough about aesthetic judgment.
Aha! Now apply my thesis of objectivity of aesthetic judgment~ and out comes =) impartial judicial system. Totally~ I’m all set for law.
Wow the spinoffs from this are wild... implications, inspirations. Never thought that drafting this concept into words could have so much impact (on myself I mean)...